Feedback or Criticism?

First of all, is there such a thing as 'constructive' criticism? I don't believe there is. The Dictionary description of the word CRITICISM is a noun either of 1. The act of criticising, especially adversely. 2. A critical comment or judgement.

So how to tell whether you are receiving or giving feedback or criticism? Feedback is descriptive, has no agenda, is non-judgemental and gives options for the receiver to act or not act in a way they feel appropriate.

Here is an example of a criticism:

I can see that whenever we deal with one another that you really can't be bothered and you are impatient to get away.

Here is the same observation as feedback:

I don't know if you are aware that when we met last week you answered your mobile three times and drummed your pen on the desk.

The second statement is a description and offers no interpretation or judgement.

In NLP, one of the pre-requisites, is that the meaning of communication is the response you get. A judgement or criticism even if labelled 'constructive' is likely to antagonise the person on the receiving end so stick to description or remember the wise words of Thumper's Dad (you'll need to watch Bambi again!) 'If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all'!