Helping Friends and Family
One of the most frustrating things anyone in the helping professions will come up against is that we can help perfect strangers but it is almost impossible to give that same help or healing to our close friends and family. In Psychotherapy we are taught to be wary of 'dual relationships' which describes the problem. It can happen both ways and the helper must also be alert for signs of relationships with clients that change and become too friendly or dependent.
So why can't we help those nearest and dearest to us? Of all the reasons I think that the most prevalent is that they know us as different person not under the banner of helper or healer. It is too much of a shift for them to put to one side the time we were roaring drunk, in love with the wrong person, spending too much money on shoes (that may only be me!) or just having a bad hair day.
Of course it gets even worse when we realise that sometimes the hardest person to help is actually.....ourselves!
So why can't we help those nearest and dearest to us? Of all the reasons I think that the most prevalent is that they know us as different person not under the banner of helper or healer. It is too much of a shift for them to put to one side the time we were roaring drunk, in love with the wrong person, spending too much money on shoes (that may only be me!) or just having a bad hair day.
Of course it gets even worse when we realise that sometimes the hardest person to help is actually.....ourselves!