It's a Real Drag to Relax

For many people it is not the nicotine addiction that will be most difficult to overcome (otherwise how else can you explain why nicotine gum or patches are not 100% successful?). Most people describe how they smoke when they are bored or need a cigarette when they are upset or under pressure. Even though it may not sound like it these are all stressful situations. You may have heard pressure and stress called positive stress. Boredom and lethargy are sometimes called negative stress.

Positive stress is that stress which originates from our earliest instincts of fight or flight. Our response may be the same as if we were confronted by a fearsome animal – our adrenaline starts pumping, our heart beats faster, we may feel short of breath, our palms get sweaty and our mouth dry.

Negative stress has the opposite effect – all our get up and go has got up and gone. We feel lethargic, we are bored but don’t have the energy to get up and do something to alleviate the boredom.

You may find in a single day that you can easily experience both of these feelings and both sets of experience were met with the same response – a cigarette. Well now you have a new response to both of these which is to relax.

Just take a big deep breath in, count to 5 and then let it go as slowly as you took the breath in.

Breath in, 1,2,3,4,5

Breath out and let it go 5,4,3,2,1

And again

Breath in, 1,2,3,4,5

Breath out and let it go 5,4,3,2,1

This is now your talisman for dealing with whatever stresses and challenges life throws at you – a big deep breath in and then let it go slowly and with it let go of either the positive or negative stress.

Sounds easy and it is and did you know this is exactly what you have been doing as a smoker. When you were bored, tired, frustrated, angry, under pressure you got out a cigarette, you took a break, you lit the cigarette and took a deep drag in and then slowly let it go…sounds familiar. Well now as a non smoker you don’t need the props just a good pair of lungs.

Breath in, 1,2,3,4,5

Breath out and let it go 5,4,3,2,1

And again

Breath in, 1,2,3,4,5

Breath out and let it go 5,4,3,2,1

And you’ve taken a break, you’ve let the stress just wash over you, you’ve deflected any anxieties away from you and you are ready to continue the day relaxed and refreshed. Well done.

Ethical Therapy

It is in everybody's interest to seek those [actions] that lead to happiness and avoid those which lead to suffering. And because our interests are inextricably linked, we are compelled to accept ethics as the indispensable interface between my desire to be happy and yours.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

From "The Pocket Dalai Lama," edited by Mary Craig, 2002.

The code of ethics to which I adhere as a member of the Hypnotherapy Society fits very much within the sentiments expressed above. You would not be surprised to learn that the ethical code offers the client protection by ensuring I keep confidentiality, I have the appropriate training to provide the therapy I offer and I always respect the client and their needs.

However the ethical code also ensures I look after myself. To ensure I am fit to practice I have supervision to ensure I am not overstepping my boundaries and provides support when I need it.

So hopefully in the words of the Dalai Lama...both client and therapist are happy!

Stopping the World...just for a moment

How frequently does life just seem to get totally on top of us? Too much to do, too many people asking so much of us, too little time. We just desperately want something to change or even better can we please just stop the world and get off once in a while.

Well here's something you can do to take a moment out from your schedule.

Find somewhere safe that you can sit, it doesn't need to be private or even particularly quiet, I used to do this on the commuter train into London.

1. Just rest your hands in your lap, uncross your legs and let your feet rest on the ground.
2. Now starting at your head just see if you can notice where you may be feeling any tension. You may find it in the back of your head, around your temples or around your jaw. Just notice the tension and then allow the muscles holding that tension to soften and let it go.
3. Now move into your neck and shoulders and do the same, notice any tension, let the muscles soften and let it go
4. Continue this from head to toe, going into your arms and legs right down to your fingertips and to the tips of your toes
5. Whilst you are releasing the tension from top to toe just notice your breathing and let it slow down, just take steady and even breaths
6. Now imagine there are ten simple stone steps in front of you and count yourself from 10 to 1, each time as you take an imaginary step allow yourself to become deeper and deeper relaxed
7. And finally as you take the final step, on the count of 1 allow yourself to drift into a special place for you, it may be by the ocean, in the mountains, a garden, wheverever is peaceful and calm, a special place just for you
8. And now you are here imagine the sights, sounds, smells, make the image as real as possible. Here you are - your own special place and for just a few minutes on a complete break from the world.
9. When you are ready to come back to the real world, come back slowly, open your eyes if they have been closed, take a drink of water and reorientate yourself into the world ready for the day ahead and whatever new challenges the day may bring.

Good luck. With practice it'll get easier to find that sense of relaxation and peace.

Enjoy your mini breaks and best of all they are free!

Wake up to Smoking

The majority of the time with my clients my efforts are spent putting them into an hypnotic state but with Smokers part of the challenge is getting them to wake up - wake up to what they are doing to themselves. The very large warnings on the packets of cigarettes are there for a reason SMOKING KILLS.

How many times have I heard the following:

• I only smoke low tar cigarettes
• I don't smoke the last inch - that's where the majority of the chemicals are
• I don't take a big drag
• My grandfather smoked until he died of natural causes at 94

Well I'm sorry but keep telling yourself all these things when you spend the last years of your life on oxygen, when every breath you take is laboured and you can bearly talk. That's if one of the various cancers have not already claimed your life - such as mouth cancer, oesophagus cancer, pancreatic cancer - it's not always the lungs that get it first.

OK this all sounds pretty tough talk but it really is time to wake up - smokers are playing russian roulette - which cigarette will be their last?

Mind over Weight

So why is it that even when we know WHAT we SHOULD be eating we still fail time and time again to achieve our weight loss goals? For many people the problem is not WHAT we eat but WHY we eat.

So WHY do we overeat? We overeat for so many reasons, here's a few of the most common:

• When we are bored
• When we are stressed
• When we are unhappy
• When we feel unloved
• When someone annoys us

I could go on but where is 'when we are hungry'? That's the problem if you spend so much time eating for all the wrong reasons you lose the most basic trigger i.e. hunger.

If you recognise yourself in any of this then it is time to engage your mind rather than your body to control your weight. Your subconscious mind needs to be reprogrammed to rid it of the old habits and triggers and taken back to basics i.e. only eating when you are hungry!

Sounds simple but our subconscious mind doesn't listen to reason certainly not when it has learned simple and very powerful lessons such as when you are unhappy, chocolate makes you feel better. What your subconscious mind doesn't work through are the consequences of eating chocolate whenever you feel unhappy - you put on weight, when you put on weight you feel unhappy and round you go again - eating more chocolate to make you feel better!

With the Hypnotherapists help your subconscious mind can be taught new more healthy lessons and once it learns these new lessons they are with you for life. No more viscious circles - now they are replaced by virtuous circles and your mind is your ally in controlling your weight.

Campaign for Prospect at Home

On Friday 1st December an article appeared in the Swindon Advertiser asking for people who would like to give up smoking in the New Year to volunteer to work with me and gain sponsorship for their efforts. I have been thrilled by the response and over the next couple of weeks will be meeting with the people who have contacted me. I will be giving a course of Hypnotherapy free to each of the volunteers and we will work together as a team to get as much sponsorship as possible.

Prospect at Home is a new campaign to extend the services of the local Prospect Hospice to allow terminally ill patients the same care in their own homes. It is often the wish of people to die at home in their own surroundings. The Prospect Hospice itself survives on charitable donations so to make Prospect at Home viable additional fundraising is required. The Swindon Advertiser is at the forefront of this campaign and will be following the story of the team of volunteers as they give up smoking.

Hypnotherapy has been proven to be an effective way of combatting the habits and cravings associated with smoking. If you visit many of the Give up Smoking websites you find numerous testimonials from ex smokers who found hypnosis effective after many other failed attempts.

Clucking Chickens and Swinging Watches

What's the first question people ask me when they find out I am a Hypnotherapist? Will you make me cluck like a chicken? And my answer...yes if you want me to!

Very often the only ideas people have about Hypnosis is from watching a stage show and what they are seeing is a very different process. The Entertainer (and let's be clear because that is what the stage hypnotist is) will pick people who they assess are 'up for it'. Maybe they'll pick the guy being egged on by his mates or the person who is sitting forward in the seat taking everything in. What you see on stage does use some of the techniques of hypnosis but also uses people's preconceived ideas that they will be hypnotised and in this state they can do ridiculous things. Afterwards they can feign complete ignorance and say they didn't remember a thing!

I've recently had my picture taken for a local newspaper and the first thing they asked was did I have a watch! They wanted a picture of me swinging a watch like a pendulum - I refused politely. There is some truth in the method of watching a swinging fob watch to induce a hypnotic state - the method is called eye catalepsy and I do sometimes use it. However as Hypnotherapists we more frequently use relaxation methods such as the Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR).

So if you come to a Hypnotherapist don't be too disappointed if we don't make you cluck like a chicken or produce a swinging watch!

A New Direction

After 21 years in the Financial Services Industry; the last 9 as a free-lance consultant and project manager I am changing careers. In October I qualified as a Hypnotherapist as part of a three year course in Counselling and Psychotherapy. It does seem like a bit of a leap from Financial Services to Hypnotherapy but it has been a gradual progression.

Throughout my previous career I have been a trainer, coach and mentor and my passion for delivering projects has always been achieved through developing the people I work with. It never fails to amaze me how many people in Corporate life are put down for their so called weaknesses to the detriment of their many strengths. In my time working with people I've always looked to the qualities they can bring to a team and worked on how to improve their inter personal skills.

It has been during these interactions that I've always become aware of the whole person - the person who doesn't just exist within the Corporate world but has a personal life, family and interests of their own. It is so difficult to develop the whole person if you are asked to operate only within the confines of their work life.

In my practice as a Hypnotherapist I can work with the whole person and help them overcome what to others may seem like a simple issue but to the person is a defining problem. Controlling their weight or giving up smoking can transform a person giving them a new sense of purpose. Conquering a fear or phobia can free the person from a lifetime of restrictions and in today's fast paced world, finding ways to relax and de-stress are something we would all benefit from.

So here's to a new direction and my positive resolutions to use Hypnotherapy to help people move on with their lives.